IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers are being used more and more in education

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Electronic
Add an article
The electronic
An electronic
show examples
 method of learning is becoming more frequent. Some say it has a positive impact while others argue
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 effect is
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are arguments on both sides, I strongly agree that the benefits
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the negatives.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
, there are various
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 effects of using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 more in the training institution. It includes',
firstly
Linking Words
 children
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 focus on what should actually
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 their priority with the machine because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
computer
Use synonyms
 is designed in
such
Linking Words
 a way that it is not only used for teaching purposes. It can
also
Linking Words
 be used
playing
Change preposition
for playing
show examples
 games and chatting up with friends thereby, making students less
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on their studies
then
Linking Words
, leading to bad grades which will
further
Linking Words
 lead to failure in school.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, the enormous positive trends can not be over the
emphasize
Wrong verb form
emphasised
show examples
, it enables collecting and storage of information very easy in
training
Add an article
a training
show examples
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
. Because even in the
next
Linking Words
 10yrs those data will still be available, unlike the traditional ways of data collection
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 usually not reliable. By doing these it makes
running
Correct article usage
the running
show examples
 of the institution very efficient and effective.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 broader the knowledge of
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 on
computer
Use synonyms
 skills because the world is becoming a
computer
Use synonyms
 village.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 you can comfortably order
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food from your home
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 going to the restaurant, these are made possible because you are knowledgeable about the usage of
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority
show examples
 of individuals say it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 trend while
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 are against the usage of
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 in our institutions. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 the positive sides
supercede
Correct your spelling
supersede
 the negative effects because it makes students more versatile and
also
Linking Words
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 in adequate storage of information.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Interactive learning tools
  • 2. Multimedia presentations
  • 3. Online resources
  • 4. Distance learning
  • 5. Remote areas
  • 6. Digital literacy
  • 7. Problem-solving
  • 8. Critical thinking
  • 9. Technology-driven world
  • 10. Digital textbooks
  • 11. Administrative tasks
  • 12. Cost-effective
  • 13. Distraction
  • 14. Social media
  • 15. Over-reliance
  • 16. Traditional skills
  • 17. Handwriting
  • 18. Face-to-face communication
  • 19. Technical problems
  • 20. Digital divide
  • 21. Inequality
  • 22. Educational opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: