Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #time

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It is often argued that working overtime may widen the economic stability of a particular

country

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion because it may affect detrimentally to the

country

Use synonyms

's financial side.

This

Linking Words

essay comprises the facts behind my disagreement; followed by a logical conclusion.

Firstly

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, the crucial fact that supports my side is,

working

Correct word choice

that working

show examples

reasonable

hours

Use synonyms

per week causes to have a proper work-life balance. To elucidate, if someone is working over-time daily basis,

then

Linking Words

they will hard to find spare time to spend with their family. As a consequence of

this

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, people will lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

happiness which makes them mentally unhealthy and

this

Linking Words

directly affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the economy of the

country

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because the government will have to allocate a lot of portions of the budget to the health sector.

Therefore

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, working long period is not favourable in terms of economically.

Secondly

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, the efficiency of workers may lessen owing to continuously working. To be more precise, when someone is working more than 10

hours

Use synonyms

per day, those employees are highly unlikely to focus their attention on what they are doing.

Moreover

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, it is

way

Add an article

a way

the way

show examples

of wasting time.

For example

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, in Finland, a plethora of companies are opened only 30

hours

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per week, and the employees are efficiently doing whatever they are assigned to do.

Furthermore

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, Finland is

well-developed

Correct article usage

a well-developed

show examples

and economically

strength

Replace the word

strong

show examples

state.

That is

Linking Words

why short working time is more important. To conclude, it is a no-brainer to say that

long-hour

Correct article usage

a long-hour

show examples

working system is harmful to the economic side due to the fact that,

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduces

show examples

work efficiency and

unbalancing

Wrong verb form

unbalances

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and life.

Hence

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, I strongly disagree to work long

hours

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this

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negatively affects the financial sector of the

country

Use synonyms

Submitted by prasadhansa0 on Thu Jul 07 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic success
working hours
productivity
sustainable development
work-life balance
labor laws
efficiency
gross domestic product (GDP)
burnout
occupational health
technological innovation
industrialized nations
emerging economies
workforce
competitiveness
workplace culture
employee turnover
quality of life

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Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that computer games can be detrimental for children's health. Others think that they can be great for education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most countries spend large amounts of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling. *