Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #time

It is often argued that working overtime may widen the economic stability of a particular

country

However

, I strongly disagree with

this

notion because it may affect detrimentally to the

country

's financial side.

This

essay comprises the facts behind my disagreement; followed by a logical conclusion.

Firstly

, the crucial fact that supports my side is,

working

Correct word choice

that working

show examples

reasonable

hours

per week causes to have a proper work-life balance. To elucidate, if someone is working over-time daily basis,

then

they will hard to find spare time to spend with their family. As a consequence of

this

, people will lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

happiness which makes them mentally unhealthy and

this

directly affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the economy of the

country

This

is because the government will have to allocate a lot of portions of the budget to the health sector.

Therefore

, working long period is not favourable in terms of economically.

Secondly

, the efficiency of workers may lessen owing to continuously working. To be more precise, when someone is working more than 10

hours

per day, those employees are highly unlikely to focus their attention on what they are doing.

Moreover

, it is

way

Add an article

a way

the way

show examples

of wasting time.

For example

, in Finland, a plethora of companies are opened only 30

hours

per week, and the employees are efficiently doing whatever they are assigned to do.

Furthermore

, Finland is

well-developed

Correct article usage

a well-developed

show examples

and economically

strength

Replace the word

strong

show examples

state.

That is

why short working time is more important. To conclude, it is a no-brainer to say that

long-hour

Correct article usage

a long-hour

show examples

working system is harmful to the economic side due to the fact that,

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduces

show examples

work efficiency and

unbalancing

Wrong verb form

unbalances

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and life.

Hence

, I strongly disagree to work long

hours

this

negatively affects the financial sector of the

country

Submitted by prasadhansa0 on Thu Jul 07 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

economic success
working hours
productivity
sustainable development
work-life balance
labor laws
efficiency
gross domestic product (GDP)
burnout
occupational health
technological innovation
industrialized nations
emerging economies
workforce
competitiveness
workplace culture
employee turnover
quality of life

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can couse serious social problems ,as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Living as an immigrant person in some countries can resultresult in some social and practical issues. I completely agree with this idea and this essay will explain what I thought.
7
band
For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?
In the contemporary world, the controversy surrounding the importance of art has been a prominent topic. While some people believe that art plays a crucial role in a nation’s culture, others argue that science, technology, and business are more beneficial. From my perspective, there are some reasons behind this phenomenon, such as alleviating financial problems as well as the growing demand for technology, and thus, some steps can be taken to accentuate the art.
6.5
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Advertising, which is a significant part of companies, leads to debates about whether it is as successful as it once was. While some people assert that adverts still have a vital impact in promoting goods among consumers, others allege that they have lost their importance due to their prevalence. Although we encounter adverts everywhere and they often bother us, I think advertising still affects the background of our minds.
7.5
band
It is often argued that it is crucial for individuals to be tidy in their workplace and house, and everything should be organized in these places. I think it is a correct belief, and I advocate this opinion. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view.
Many arguments say that it is crucial for individuals to sort out their workplaces and houses. I agree with the following statement. I think that cleaning up workplaces and houses can be very beneficial to certain individuals. This essay will showcase the advantages and my personal opinion on organizing people's surroundings.
4
band
Many people feel that most of the urgent problems can only be solved by international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Nowadays , the urgent issues are increasing in the world . Therefore, some people think that governments should get a international deal to solve the urgent problems such as global warming and climate change . I strongly agree that global cooperation could likely overcome them .

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can couse serious social problems ,as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that it is crucial for individuals to be tidy in their workplace and house, and everything should be organized in these places. I think it is a correct belief, and I advocate this opinion. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view.

Many people feel that most of the urgent problems can only be solved by international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?