IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that businesses should support local communities as itaoffers a chance for marketing and promotion. Others consider thatcommunities should be supported by the government, not by businesses.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #businesses #support #communities #itaoffers #chance #promotion #thatcommunities #government
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Businesses
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 play a crucial role in the success and well-being of local
communities
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. Some argue that
businesses
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 should
support
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 local
communities
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 as it offers a chance for marketing and promotion,
while
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 others believe that
communities
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 should be supported by the
government
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, not by
businesses
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion on the matter. On one hand, there are those who believe that
businesses
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 should
support
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 local
communities
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 as it provides them with an opportunity for marketing and promotion. By investing in local
communities
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,
businesses
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 can build strong relationships with residents and gain their loyalty.
This
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 can result in increased sales and brand recognition, ultimately benefiting the business in the long run.
Furthermore
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, supporting local
communities
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 can enhance the reputation of a business, making it more attractive to potential customers and employees.
On the other hand
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, there are those who argue that
communities
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 should be supported by the
government
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, not by
businesses
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. They believe that it is the responsibility of the
government
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 to provide essential services and
support
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 to local
communities
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, rather than relying on
businesses
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 to fill the gap.
Government
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 funding can ensure that all
communities
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, regardless of their economic status, have access to necessary resources
such
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 as education, healthcare, and infrastructure.
This
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 can help to create a more equitable society where all individuals have the opportunity to succeed. In my opinion, both
businesses
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 and the
government
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 have a role to play in supporting local
communities
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.
While
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businesses
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 can contribute to the well-being of
communities
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 through their resources and expertise, it is ultimately the responsibility of the
government
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 to ensure that all
communities
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 have access to the essential services they need to thrive. By working together,
businesses
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 and the
government
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 can create a strong foundation for sustainable growth and development in local
communities
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. In conclusion, the debate over whether
businesses
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 or the
government
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 should
support
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 local
communities
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 is complex and multifaceted.
While
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businesses
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 can benefit from investing in local
communities
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 for marketing and promotion purposes, it is important for the
government
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 to provide fundamental
support
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 to ensure the well-being of all
communities
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. Ultimately, a collaborative approach that involves both
businesses
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 and the
government
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 is essential in creating thriving and prosperous
communities
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 for all.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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task response
Introduce a clearer thesis statement in your introduction. This helps in setting a solid groundwork for your argument and direction.
task response
Try to include more specific examples or detailed case studies to strengthen your arguments. Relevant, real-world examples make your points more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices to link them effectively, ensuring a smoother flow of information.
coherence and cohesion
Experiment with a wider range of linking words and phrases to aid coherence. This can also demonstrate a richer command of the language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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