IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today every large city facing traffic jam problem. what are the causes and how can it tackle

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Nowadays, traffic congestion becomes a challenge to all urban areas. It has been a widespread argument that there are some causes behind
this
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 issue. In
this
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 essay, I will try to identify the factors contributing to
this
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 and
also
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 explain some solutions that may be possible to overcome it.
First
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 and foremost, the problems come from
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 lifestyles and the rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
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. If the population density is getting bigger, there will be a need for
people
Use synonyms
 to
mobile
Add a missing verb
be mobile
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. To illustrate, as the number of
jobseakers
Correct your spelling
jobseekers
job seekers
 increased, the
people
Use synonyms
 who
urbanize
Wrong verb form
urbanised
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 from Tegal to Jakarta to get a job
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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rised
Correct your spelling
raised
 as well.
Besides
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, owning
a
Remove the article
apply
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private transportation is considered can escalate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social status. As a consequence,
people
Use synonyms
 compete to own their
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 and so the traffic is getting worse.
However
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, the alternative
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to reduce it is by aspiring
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to provide more public transportation and establish a public space
instead
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. If the authority supports the development of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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, the awareness of
people
Use synonyms
 to mobile by their own car will reduce gradually.
For instance
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, mass rapid transportation or commuter can be an alternative to transport many
people
Use synonyms
, so the number of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 on the road will be decreased.
Furthermore
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,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
public space has an essential role to motivate
pedestrian
Fix the agreement mistake
pedestrians
show examples
 to walk more frequent rather than riding their own bikes.
For instance
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, developing a sidewalk, footpath, garden, and minimising parking areas. To conclude, as time goes by,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic jam
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
something inevitable in big cities. It may be caused by the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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population and social pressure.
However
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, those can be diminished by government policies in terms of increasing public facilities.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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