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Band 7.5

Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#illness
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Nowadays, we are facing mental health problems which are commonly named stress-related. It is assumed, that there is a number of causes that affect health problems which are mostly involved a busy
lifestyle
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 and social
media
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 usage.
This
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 essay will discuss some major causes and solutions provided in the same section. The
first
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 reason why some
people
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 get sick mentally is that they have a busy
lifestyle
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 in society.
For instance
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, many young
people
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 are working at a company in the city area. They are working under the pressure of the deadline till midnight. After ,work they do not have time for enjoyment with friends or family. So, that kind of busy
lifestyle
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 can be leading ignorance of being human and they feel alone and get depressed. Another reason why
people
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 get mental health problems is the usage of social
media
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.
For example
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, many young
people
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 get anxiety from fancy pictures or videos on Facebook and Instagram when following celebrity's posts. Because they think
this
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 is really their life which cannot be afforded
this
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 life or nice products.
This
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 situation can impact their self-esteem and they isolate themselves from their close
people
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. That can be called depression of self-esteem. In my opinion, solutions can be simple, they should have more closely to their family and friends.
Moreover
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, time management and cleaning their social
media
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 mutual friends or celebrities are
also
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 significant for their personal self-esteem. In Conclusion, there is a number of reasons why
people
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 get stress-related illnesses that are increasing in today's world. Those are their chosen
lifestyle
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 and social
media
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 usage.
Submitted by ulziiko81 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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