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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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It is undeniable that due to long working hours,
people
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 do not have enough
time
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 for their leisure activities. It has many disadvantages ,which I am going to discuss in the following paragraphs. Indeed, because of the hectic schedules,
people
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 have very less hours for other curricular activities which can create many health issues in their
life
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 . They
work
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 all day and have no
time
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 to relax and to do exercise , which could lead to serious diseases like obesity, depression, and anxiety.
For example
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, recent research shows that
people
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 who
work
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 the whole day by sitting in one place can become obese and could face many health problems like heart attacks.
Further
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 fortifying,
this
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 situation could
also
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 disturb the family relations as individuals are busy in their
work
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 and are unable to spend quality
time
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 with their kith and kin , which may result in creating distance among family relationships and sometimes children become rebels because they do not have any kind of fear of their parents .
For instance
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, wards whose parents are working can become more irresponsible towards their studies due to their parent's absence. On the other side,every coin has two sides, working for longer hours helps humans to earn more money ,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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, they could buy everything and provide better education to their kids . Their standards of living could
also
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 get improved , in
this
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 way they could give a luxurious
life
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 to their family easily and have a lot of savings for future like doing extra
work
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 in their early
life
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 could help them in their old ages. In conclusion,
although
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work
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 is very inevitable to live a better
life
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but
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apply
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overwork could have negative impacts on health as well as family relations.
People
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 should definitely give free
time
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 to themselves in order to do other activities or to pursue their hobbies.
Submitted by Kaurgurinder1905 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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