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Band 6

Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

#families
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that family is the most precious in their life and must keep in contact to know the condition of each other.
However
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, there is much discussion over recent decades about families less close than they were in the past. In
this
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 following essay, I would like to discuss the reason for
this
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 phenomenon and what
people
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 should do to solve it.
To begin
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 with, the major reasons are
people
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 have busy
work
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 and must leave their hometown to the big city. Most
people
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 have to
work
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 until late and in some cases their mother and father
work
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 as well,
as a result
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, they do not have quality
time
Use synonyms
 to spend together as they did before. Another reason
this
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 issue could occur is youngsters, both a student and
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
, mind to live far away from their hometown
since
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the opportunities offered in big cities. After some
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
, children become emotionally detached from their parents. In order to solve these issues, social media platforms, in some ways can tackle the problems, and individuals can
use
Use synonyms
 their day off as the best
time
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 to spend together.
First
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, social media presence
such
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 as Whatsapp, Twitter, or Instagram can bring new ways to communicate.
For example
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, some of my parents’ friends
work
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 as pilots or sailors who must leave their homes for a long
time
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, and they
use
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 video calls via Whatsapp
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
daily to update each other.
Secondly
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,
people
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 can spare
time
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 on weekends or holidays to intimate back. If they do not have
time
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 after
work
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, it is an excellent way to
use
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 the day off.
For instance
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, they can travel around the city, watch movies in local cinema, and try new restaurants in the city. To conclude, it is clear that a busy modern lifestyle and the more attractive opportunities outside the hometown can lead families to become estranged.
Therefore
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,
people
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 can
use
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 social media to discuss and talk just like before and spend their day off in some communal activities.
Submitted by damaspandya on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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