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Band 6

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
There is always a debate that living in big
cities
 may
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 the
health
 of the citizens. I strongly agree with
this
 statement, living in a small city is much better than living in a big city. The life of citizens in big
cities
 becomes very hectic these days,
people
 are running like horses for money and pleasure without knowing that they are losing a very important time and
health
 of their own.
However
, living in a small town is much simpler than a big city,
people
 have limited resources but have the most valuable thing which is "time", they care about their
health
 and work for reasonable hours. By having limited resources
people
 don't have the problem of stress and anxiety which is very harmful to
health
, research shows that in big
cities
 the suicidal rate is increasing rapidly.
People
 commit suicide due to the stress of work and competition in workplaces. Another thing
that is
 affecting the
health
 of
people
 in large
cities
 is technology. Technology becomes an essential part of everyone's life but in big
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
 it became a habit for everyone,
people
 are wearing wireless earphones for almost 15 hours or even more and it causes lots of brain-related issues to them. Technology
also
 becomes the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 depression for young
people
 in large
cities
,
for instance
, if we upload any pictures on Instagram or videos on Youtube and do not get the expected response
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other
people
, it may cause depression and may lead to serious
health
 problems. To conclude, there is always a saying that money can't buy happiness and I will recommend to
people
 to live more healthy and happy and don't run for more money because it may cause you some serious
health
 problems.
Submitted by vkworkss on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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