IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Advantages/Disadvantages

#experts #children #language #school
It’s often said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 learning multiple
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 has always been best for a child, it builds a new character and
children
 can get
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
exposure
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the new culture by learning
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
linguistic
Replace the word
language
show examples
. It has proven that many people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
 should learn a foreign
language
 in primary
school
 in place of secondary
school
.
This
 Essay will talk about the advantages and disadvantages of learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 in primary
school
 is an essential part or not. In regard
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the disadvantages, while learning a foreign
language
 in primary
school
 students can underperform their vital subjects like
Math’s
Change noun form
Math
show examples
 and Science which are more important to improve their academics score and job security in future, whereas every child should understand their native
language
first
 than any other languages,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 an English native speaking student is
also
 learning French and while learning the foreign
language
 they are losing their command on English and making multiple grammatical errors while writing and speaking as well.
Children
first
 expertise their native
language
first
 and
then
 should go for the foreign
language
.
On the other hand
, there are lots of benefits of learning multiple languages in primary
school
Change the noun form
schools
show examples
,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in primary
school
children
 are very eager to learn new things and
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 new habits, and at
this
stage
Add a comma
,stage
show examples
 if they will get a chance to learn a foreign
language
 it will benefit their communication skills and build their character. Learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 can
also
 provide various new information about the related country, like when I was learning French, I got to know about how beautiful country France is and it
also
 gives me
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 France culture. Learning foreign linguistic will always help a child to learn not just
language
 but
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other traditions. By Concluding
this
 essay, I would prefer
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
 should learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 primary
school
 because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 lots of advantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.
Submitted by vkworkss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!