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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. At least 250 words.

#people #choices
Although
 some people believe that nowadays we have too many
choices
, I would argue that it should
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on different situations. It is true that with the
development
 of our
society
, we are given much more
choices
 than before, which is really obvious.
First
 of all, with the
development
 of human rights, especially the liberty which is written in our
laws
, gives us more
choices
 in many aspects,
for instance
, lifestyle, job
sellecting
Correct your spelling
selecting
selection
 and religion. Another reason is that, with the significant progress in
laws-making
Correct your spelling
law-making
show examples
, the edge of rights and duty is accurate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means that as long as we are making
choices
 inside the frame of
laws
, we
are always have
Change the verb form
always have
show examples
choices
 that will not be
Correct your spelling
prohibited
prohibitted
Correct your spelling
prohibited
 by
laws
.
For instance
, we could choose any lifestyle we want if it is not be sentenced to crime
Add a hyphen
in-laws
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
laws
, and do anything we want if it is not illegal.
However
, even with the
development
 of our modern
society
, there are still many
restrictions
 in our life which give us
those invisible edge
Change the determiner
that invisible edge
those invisible edges
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our choice-making process. My
first
 reason is that, as the saying goes" Rome is not built
during
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one day" , our human
society
 is shaped like the world we are used to after a long period, over thousands of years. It means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
restrictions
 from
laws
 are not all of them, there are still many others from moralities and our beliefs.
For example
, we are not permitted or encouraged to do those things which could harm the community, even our country.
On the other hand
, as I mentioned above,
laws
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent
restrictions
 in our lives which means if you break
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
governers
Correct your spelling
governors
show examples
 will have the right to arrest you, in order to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
runs
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
 in a proper way. All in all, with the
development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
, we are much
more free
Replace the words
freer
show examples
 than before to make our own choice, but it doesn't mean that we have too many
choices
, we are still limited by
laws
 and other
restrictions
.
Submitted by Meow on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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