IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others; however, believed that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Write your response not less than 250 words. You get 40 minutes to complete this task

It is observed that at times many people believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
 must shut down because the
animals
Use synonyms
 inside them are not treated with love,
whereas
Linking Words
 there are some who, in fact, think that menageries can be coined for
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
 safety and security of the
animals
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I agree that zoological parks can prove to help caress the
animals
Use synonyms
 and,
therefore
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, should be promoted and preserved. On the one hand, there are folks who affirm to seize the
zoos
Use synonyms
 because of the
ill-treatments
Correct your spelling
ill-treatment
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 the
animals
Use synonyms
 receive.
Firstly
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, they are captivated by their wild habitats by separating them from their family.
This
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 makes the
animals
Use synonyms
 sad indeed. Because they are used for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
display, the
animals
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 are left with no or very little freedom for their movement.
Hence
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, those wild species become lethargic.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they
also
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 become a way of entertainment for the public. So, the trainers
do
Verb problem
apply
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use harsh techniques to train the
animals
Use synonyms
, leaving behind them to be injured. To add
further
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, it is a means of generating money though in an illegal way.
For example
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, many
zoos
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 have tie-ups with circuses to showcase their educated
animals
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 and
thus
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 earn a side income.
On the other hand
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, and I agree, the positive aspects of the zoological parks hold more value than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 daunting traits because of the personal attention, availability of veterinarians etc. One can argue the zoo being a cage, is not good, but at the same ,time it offers and attends to the health of an animal. Since an in-house veterinarian is available, the disease and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illness can be cured quickly. Another positive note is the available option of
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
"elective reproduction" amongst the same breed of
animals
Use synonyms
 under supervised conditions. That helps in the conservation of an endangered species.
For instance
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, nowadays, many horses are being mated
this
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 way to overcome the scarcity of horses which are dead
due to
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 failure in derbies.
Lastly
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, the menageries do offer timely and nutritious food to
animals
Use synonyms
 and
therefore
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 they do not need to sleep on an empty stomach. In conclusion, despite many people's insist that
zoos
Use synonyms
 need to be abolished because of the authority's lack to provide proper care, in my ,opinion I agree that
zoos
Use synonyms
 should be promoted as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 benefits to wild creatures and the environment together.

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task response
Your essay lacks a clear position on the topic. Make sure to clearly state your opinion and support it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure. Work on organizing your ideas and presenting them in a cohesive manner. Additionally, ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively present and summarize your main points.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • confinement
  • psychological stress
  • ethics
  • sentient beings
  • breeding programs
  • biodiversity
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • educating the public
  • research opportunities
  • controlled environment
  • rehabilitation
  • wildlife
  • safe haven
  • natural habitats
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