IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?

#punishment #countries #argue #parents #right #children
Some traditional
parents
 argue that they should be allowed to punish their
children
 physically. I am in strong disagreement with
this
 contention despite the legitimacy of parental rights. Those in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
parents
 being permitted to punish their
children
 physically point out
this
 is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 historically ingrained privilege. For thousands of years,
parents
 have had the ability to raise their
children
 according to their own beliefs and values.
This
 includes choices related to culture, religion, diet, and lifestyle. Physical
punishment
 can be theoretically added to
this
 list as it has a massive impact on a child’s psychology and future identity. The support for
this
 practice is that many successful individuals have anecdotally expressed gratitude to
parents
 who hit them when they were younger, believing that it instilled a sense of discipline in them.
However
, research has shown that the positive impact in select cases of corporal
punishment
 is greatly outweighed by emotional and psychological abuse. The vast majority of
children
 who were physically abused develop either temporary or lasting
side-effects
Correct your spelling
side effects
show examples
. The most common one is that
children
 are not as confident and willing to express themselves because they consistently fear
punishment
 from a loved one. As they get older,
this
 can become a barrier both
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 interpersonal relationships and their public persona. Many
children
 who have only learned discipline through physical
punishment
 end up hitting their own
children
 and
this
 can create an ongoing cycle of abuse. In conclusion,
although
parents
 should have the right to raise their
children
 as they see fit,
this
 prerogative must be limited in the case of physical abuse. In most nations, there are already laws banning corporal
punishment
.
Submitted by design.graphist on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: