IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It will be better for society and individuals if driverless cars are widely used. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement？

Driverless
cars
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 are becoming a reality thanks to technological advancements. It is argued that, whether wide use of them will be more beneficial to both
people
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 and the community or not. I am of the opinion that
,
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apply
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 driverless vehicles would bring a variety of advantages including efficiency and safety.
Firstly
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, a vast majority of commuters complain about the wasted time
while
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 they are driving. Thanks to new technology drivers will be able to allocate their time to activities they want to do,
for instance
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, fulfilment of duty, reading a book/paper, or watching a film/video.
According to
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 the news, I have read recently,
people
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 who prefer public transport rather than personal vehicles feel far more efficient and satisfied. It is simply because they spend their time ranging from checking e-mails to listening to podcasts
instead
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 of driving.
Additionally
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, the way of behaving
people
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 causes
traffic
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 congestion and
moreover
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traffic
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 accidents which may end
with
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in
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 death.
In other words
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, especially in major cities, commuting travel would
last
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 about three times more than expected because of
traffic
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 jams, and getting stuck in
traffic
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 puts a strain on
people
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 which in turn leads to road rage incidents.
According to
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 a global organisation, it is estimated that more than a billion
people
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 die each year
as a result
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 of road rage incidents. It is obvious that self-driving
cars
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 will prevent
such
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 problems and guarantee a more peaceful environment on the roads. In conclusion, there is a dilemma regarding
cars
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 without drivers. Even though
,
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apply
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 taxi drivers will lose their jobs advantages of driverless
cars
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 outweigh the disadvantages because of the convenience of travel and life safety.

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task response
Provide clearer examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically organized with clear transitions between paragraphs.
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