IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a neccessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative. Discuss your both views and give your own opinion.

#people #conflict #parents #neccessary #part #whilst
Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 live in a modern world and they choose modern
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
life-styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
. They spend lots of time with their cellphones or on the internet. These modern
people
 send emails or types letters
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their computers
instead
 of
write
Change the verb form
writing
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 down
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their own hand.
Therefore
, some
people
 suggest that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
handwriting is going to be extinct and no need to be taught in schools anymore. Please let me stand opposite side of
this
 idea.
Firstly
, writing by hand is one of the important steps of learning
alphabet
Add an article
the alphabet
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
.
Moreover
, scientists suggest that
children
 could learn better by connecting to the words with their minds and bodies,
for instance
: teaching
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
 of apple.
Teacher
Add an article
The teacher
A teacher
show examples
 should ask
children
 to listen to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 word apple, look at the picture of it and write it down on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper after that teacher could show the real apple to
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
. Scientists mention that during
this
 process
children
 could sink their sensory inputs and understand how to write words.
Hence
, handwriting is an important necessary learning step.
Secondly
, having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beautiful Handwriting is an artistic branch.
People
 dedicated their passion to their lovers by letter with outstanding handwriting about thirty years ago and we had had many poems about
this
 love expression. Now, maybe those attitudes are not very common but still working.
Hence
, sending a
massage
Correct your spelling
message
show examples
 with
paper
Add an article
a paper
the paper
show examples
 letter that contains your handwriting always has a different persisting meaning than
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
type
Change preposition
of letters
show examples
letters
Fix the agreement mistake
letter
show examples
 or
emails
Fix the agreement mistake
email
show examples
.
Moreover
, some psychologists believe that handwriting has some personal aspects
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the writer
show examples
writer
Replace the word
writing
show examples
 and could help
people
 to express their feeling to each other.
Therefore
, they suggest, it is better to write cards
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 special occasions
instead
 of typing
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 mailing.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, we should consider that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
handwriting is not useful
like
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 before and emails or typing on computers and using
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
 are more functional and faster, but I believe that we should not stop our
children
 from learning how to write a beautiful letter by their hands.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: