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Writing Samples
Band 6

All students should study art and music in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #study #art #music #school
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Art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 have always played an important role in our society. But many people posed
a
Correct article usage
the
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 question
why
Change preposition
about why
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 we have to spend time teaching these subjects at
school
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate
why
Change preposition
on why
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 I agree that the subjects should
be include
Change the verb form
be included
show examples
 in
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I believe that both
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 strongly contribute to
ability
Add an article
the ability
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 of children to be creative.
These two course
Change the determiner
This two course
These two courses
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able
Add a missing verb
are able
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 to shape children’s
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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 and
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
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 them to think outside of the box. During
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 class,
for example
Linking Words
, children are usually asked to invent something new.
Therefore
Linking Words
, It forces their brain to think and come up with new ideas. As you can see, these
classes
Use synonyms
 create opportunities for youngsters to think apart from maths and science.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 should be mandatory because they provide
students
Use synonyms
 with a chance to discover unknown talents. Since
students
Use synonyms
 spend most of their time at
school
Use synonyms
 learning traditional subjects like math and science,
students
Use synonyms
 who have artistic talent may not have a chance to discover
this
Linking Words
 ability. In
this
Linking Words
 respect, making
music
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 compulsory will ensure that
students
Use synonyms
 receive a well-rounded education that prepares them for their future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, even if
students
Use synonyms
 do not have artistic talent, participating in
music
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 in high
school
Use synonyms
 should be required. In conclusion, it is undeniable that
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are still essential nowadays and should be included in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
Use synonyms
 because they have significant benefits both in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of creativity and exploring themselves, which will positively
effects
Change the verb form
effect
show examples
 their future life.
Submitted by viewvry on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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