In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the contemporary epoch,there is irrefutable debate among folks about
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
for graduates.
Certain
Change preposition
In certain
show examples
countries,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
inspire learners to find part-time employment while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
do not advocate for it. I firmly coincide with and withstand the stated notion that it will expose the student in the line of
employment
Add an article
the employment
show examples
environment.
This
discourse will
further
elucidate my assertion in the forthcoming paragraph.
Firstly
,
this
kind of exposure is very
advantegious
Correct your spelling
advantageous
to the young stars
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is not really for it.They end up practising what they are taught in lecture rooms as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
gain
experience
and get exposure
Correct your spelling
particularly
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
in their area of interest.
Moreover
,work
experience
can help them land their dream
job
because most recruiters prefer to employ individuals with some
experience
.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research done by kepsa(2020) depicts that 90% of employer prefer to give
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
to people who have gone for
internship
Add an article
an internship
the internship
show examples
which help them as they do not take long to adapt to the system.
Consequently
,it is
imperrative
Correct your spelling
imperative
for
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
people to undertake part-time attachment.
On the other hand
,
this
can be detrimental since it can bring some disruption in the study
although
the student understands and retain more when they practice what they are taught in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
a classroom
show examples
.
Furthermore
,the
scolar
Correct your spelling
scholar
solar
is not in a position to prepare for exams or even attend group discussion with others as there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
duties allocated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
them by
employer
Add an article
the employer
an employer
show examples
.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research done by the
university
Change the capitalization
University
show examples
of Nairobi depicts that
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
jobs for
finalist
Fix the agreement mistake
finalists
show examples
make them drop out of school.
Therefore
,
certain
Add an article
a certain
the certain
show examples
individual
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not advise pupils to work as it
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
their
Correct your spelling
performance
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
as well as some end up dropping out of
academy
Add an article
the academy
show examples
To sum up,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would like to restate
my
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
perspective that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
concur that undergraduates must take part-time jobs to gain relevant
experience
for the sake of future dream
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
despite others advocating that it will affect the graduate end results.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: