You work for international company and you need time off to attent a family celebration.Write a letter to company's manager.In your letter: Give details of celebration Explain why you need time off Suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

Dear Kim, I am writing
this
letter to you to request
one-week
Correct article usage
a one-week
show examples
vacation starting from April 1, 2024, ending on April 8, 2024,
due to
the marriage of my younger sister , which is going to be held at the Palace, Chicago. We have already booked
this
place for the whole week to conduct all the functions here.
This
event is extremely vital for all the family members and I am no exception as she is returning from Canada after 10 years which was quite a long time for all of us.
Moreover
, she does not have any other cousins in Canada so, I am the only one who is going to attend and manage her all-important ceremonies. Well, I know that taking a week off is going to put me
a way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
back in my work
however
I can
contenue
Correct your spelling
continue
working online. I assure you that I will be working for
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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,
therefore
I can assure you that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will not
missing
Change the verb form
miss
be missing
show examples
any of my work.
Moreover
,if needed I can work overtime the coming to cover a few tasks in advance. Kim, If you grant me
this
leave, I will be grateful to you. Waiting for your reply, Yours sincerely Jasmina
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured and has a logical flow, but you can enhance its coherence by improving transitions between ideas. Try using linking words such as 'furthermore', 'thus', or 'accordingly' to create a smoother connection between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal, which is suitable for a letter to a manager. To improve even further, consider using 'Dear [Manager's Last Name]' if you know the surname, as it adds a touch of professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which is good. To enhance cohesion within paragraphs, make sure every sentence contributes directly to the central idea of its paragraph. Avoid adding irrelevant details that might distract the reader.
task achievement
You have responded to all parts of the task effectively by mentioning the celebration, explaining why time off is needed, and suggesting ways to manage work during your absence. To elevate your task achievement score, provide more specific details about the work arrangements, such as mentioning specific tasks you will prioritize or any colleagues who might help during your absence.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is mostly suitable for a formal request, but to improve it, be consistent in maintaining a formal tone throughout. Avoid using informal phrases like 'I know that taking a week off is going to put me a way back in my work however I can contenue working online.' Instead, use more formal language such as 'I am aware that my absence may cause some disruption to workflow; however, I am prepared to continue working remotely to minimize any impact.' Also, remember to proofread your letter for spelling and grammatical errors ('contenue' should be 'continue', 'everyday' should be 'every day').

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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