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Band 6

In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #people #students #jobs
In the contemporary epoch,there is irrefutable debate among folks about part-time
jobs
 for graduates.In certain countries,individuals inspire learners to find part-time employment while others do not advocate for it. I firmly coincide with and withstand the stated notion that it will expose the student in the line of the employment environment.
This
 discourse will
further
 elucidate my assertion in the forthcoming paragraph.
Firstly
,
this
 kind of exposure is very
advantagious
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 to the young stars
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is not really for it.They end up practising what they are taught in lecture rooms as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 gain
experience
 and get exposure
particularly
Add the comma(s)
,particularly
show examples
 in their area of interest.
Moreover
,work
experience
 can help them land their dream job because most recruiters prefer to employ individuals with some
experience
.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by kepsa(2020) depicts that 90% of employer prefer to give a job to people who have gone for an internship which help them as they do not take long to adapt to the system.
Consequently
,it is imperative for school-going people to undertake part-time attachment.
On the other hand
,
this
 can be detrimental since it can bring some disruption in the study
although
 the student understands and retain more when they practice what they are taught in the classroom.
Furthermore
 ,the scholar is not in a position to prepare for exams or even attend group
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
show examples
 with others as there are duties allocated to them by the employer.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by the University of Nairobi depicts that part-time
jobs
 for finalists make them drop out of school.
Therefore
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 certain individual does not advise pupils to work as it affects their performance as well as some end up dropping out of the academy To sum up,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to restate the perspective that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 concur that undergraduates must take part-time
jobs
 to gain relevant
experience
 for the sake of future dream
jobs
 despite others advocating that it will affect the graduate end results.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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