In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the contemporary epoch,there is irrefutable debate among folks about part-time

jobs

for graduates.In certain countries,individuals inspire learners to find part-time employment while others do not advocate for it. I firmly coincide with and withstand the stated notion that it will expose the student in the line of the employment environment.

This

discourse will

further

elucidate my assertion in the forthcoming paragraph.

Firstly

this

kind of exposure is very

advantagious

Correct your spelling

advantageous

to the young stars

although

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is not really for it.They end up practising what they are taught in lecture rooms as a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

gain

experience

and get exposure

particularly

Add the comma(s)

,particularly

show examples

in their area of interest.

Moreover

,work

experience

can help them land their dream job because most recruiters prefer to employ individuals with some

experience

For example

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research done by kepsa(2020) depicts that 90% of employer prefer to give a job to people who have gone for an internship which help them as they do not take long to adapt to the system.

Consequently

,it is imperative for school-going people to undertake part-time attachment.

On the other hand

this

can be detrimental since it can bring some disruption in the study

although

the student understands and retain more when they practice what they are taught in the classroom.

Furthermore

,the scholar is not in a position to prepare for exams or even attend group

discussion

Fix the agreement mistake

discussions

show examples

with others as there are duties allocated to them by the employer.

For example

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research done by the University of Nairobi depicts that part-time

jobs

for finalists make them drop out of school.

Therefore

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

certain individual does not advise pupils to work as it affects their performance as well as some end up dropping out of the academy To sum up,

Change the capitalization

show examples

would like to restate the perspective that

Change the capitalization

show examples

concur that undergraduates must take part-time

jobs

to gain relevant

experience

for the sake of future dream

jobs

despite others advocating that it will affect the graduate end results.

Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on Sat Jul 09 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some other cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is a better development?

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Taking a year of between finishing school and starting university is a waste of students' time. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. many people think that government should focus on encouraging local businesses rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.