IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #people #students #jobs
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In the contemporary epoch,there is irrefutable debate among folks about part-time
jobs
Use synonyms
 for graduates.In certain countries,individuals inspire learners to find part-time employment while others do not advocate for it. I firmly coincide with and withstand the stated notion that it will expose the student in the line of the employment environment.
This
Linking Words
 discourse will
further
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 elucidate my assertion in the forthcoming paragraph.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of exposure is very
advantagious
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 to the young stars
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is not really for it.They end up practising what they are taught in lecture rooms as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
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the
Correct your spelling
they
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 gain
experience
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 and get exposure
particularly
Add the comma(s)
,particularly
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 in their area of interest.
Moreover
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,work
experience
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 can help them land their dream job because most recruiters prefer to employ individuals with some
experience
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 research done by kepsa(2020) depicts that 90% of employer prefer to give a job to people who have gone for an internship which help them as they do not take long to adapt to the system.
Consequently
Linking Words
,it is imperative for school-going people to undertake part-time attachment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be detrimental since it can bring some disruption in the study
although
Linking Words
 the student understands and retain more when they practice what they are taught in the classroom.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,the scholar is not in a position to prepare for exams or even attend group
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
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 with others as there are duties allocated to them by the employer.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by the University of Nairobi depicts that part-time
jobs
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 for finalists make them drop out of school.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 certain individual does not advise pupils to work as it affects their performance as well as some end up dropping out of the academy To sum up,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would like to restate the perspective that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 concur that undergraduates must take part-time
jobs
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 to gain relevant
experience
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 for the sake of future dream
jobs
Use synonyms
 despite others advocating that it will affect the graduate end results.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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