IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Although
Linking Words
 some individuals believe that the optimum
way
Use synonyms
 of transportation within a city is by using cars, other people believe that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are a better approach. I totally agree with the second view because using
bicycles
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial to a
person
Use synonyms
's
health
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 and environment. On the one hand, many people support the idea of using vehicles for transportation because it is faster. Most cities worldwide are massive, meaning that there is a high possibility of travelling for large distances.
Therefore
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, using a slow
way
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 of travelling will cause several issues
such
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 as being late for work, or missing a crucial appointment.
For example
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, in Riyadh, to go from the west to the east a
person
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 needs around an hour to reach his destination.
On the other hand
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,
bicycles
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 are more beneficial for a
person
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's
health
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. By using a bicycle for travelling in a city, a
person
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 is required to activate his legs, which means he will burn a large amount of calories.
In other words
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, his
health
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 and fitness will get better.
Moreover
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,
bicycles
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 are cleaner than other types of transportation methods. There is no need for any source of hydrocarbons to use them and they do not emit any toxic gases to the environment.
Therefore
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, in my opinion,
bicycles
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 are a better
way
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 of travelling in a city. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 cars offer a faster
way
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 of moving in cities,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 totally agree that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are a preferable
way
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 of travelling because it advantages towards
health
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 and the environment.

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task achievement
Make sure you give clear examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better with linking words.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling, especially in the conclusion.
task achievement
You present your opinion clearly in the essay.
task achievement
Your points about health and the environment are strong.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
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