IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries the number of people who use bicycles as their main form of transport is decreasing even though riding bicycles has many benefits. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles.

Transportation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 involved in the
last
Linking Words
 fifty years, from bullock carts to bicycles to cars and buses. During
this
Linking Words
 period,
usage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 is minimised despite the health benefits.In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will look
firstly
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the reasons and
then
Linking Words
 highlight how to encourage the
Use synonyms
usage
Replace the word
user
show examples
 with appropriate examples. To start with, in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the countries urban roads remain the same and it is almost congested with private and public vehicles,
therefore
Linking Words
 no space for
bicycle
Use synonyms
 riders,
also
Linking Words
 putting cyclist
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 risk.Recently road and safety
NGO
Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
show examples
 released statistics on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road accidents highlighting cyclist is the most vulnerable to hit and run cases.The other reason,per-capita income has increased,influencing
layman
Fix the agreement mistake
laymen
show examples
 for choosing two or
four
Add a hyphen
four-wheeler
show examples
wheeler
Change to a plural noun
wheelers
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of a
bicycle
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, having two or
four
Add a hyphen
four-wheeler
show examples
wheeler
Change to a plural noun
wheelers
show examples
 is acting as a status symbol,neglecting health benefits by using bicycles. To increase the
usage
Use synonyms
 of
bicycle
Use synonyms
,
first
Linking Words
,
separate
Correct article usage
a separate
show examples
cyclelane
Correct your spelling
cycle lane
cycle-lane
cycle lanes
 need to create which is well connected with the city centres and other important places with
shortest
Change the article
the shortest
show examples
 route, away from the main roads.
This
Linking Words
 will give immense security to cyclists.
Second
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 government initiative is needed where buyers can purchase bicycles
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the subsidised rate along with the tax relief.
Third
Linking Words
, health policies should be interlinked with the
usage
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pedal bikes.
For example
Linking Words
, leading insurance organisation comes with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incentive plans, wherein users can get loyalty points for every kilometre ride by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bicycle
Use synonyms
 but pedal bikes should have a GPS tracker.Fourth, the government should increase the taxes on buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motorcycles or cars.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Denmark
Add a comma
,Denmark
show examples
 there are heavy taxes on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles which discourage buyers,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 the preferred mode of commuting through pedal
bikes
Fix the agreement mistake
bike
show examples
,
Add a missing verb
is,highest
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 in the world. In conclusion, stating the reasons followed by the ways to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bicycle
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
, people have to understand the benefits and the consequences of
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: