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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many Offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishments. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problems.

#offenders #crime #first #punishments #measures
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These days, the criminal rate increases continuously. One of the reasons for
this
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 phenomenon is that numerous former prisons re-offend after serving the
first
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 sentence. The following paragraph will examine the causes of committing crime again and recommend some practical solutions. The main reason that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first
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-time criminals commit more crimes after their
first
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 punishments
is
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are
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 that they do not have rehabilitation services.
In other words
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, during the sentence, they do not learn some useful
skills
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such
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 as carpenter
skills
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, cooking
skills
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, gardening
skills
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 and so on. Which will be helpful for them
to begin
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 their lives after punishments.
Moreover
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, people in society have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 awful attitude toward
prisoners
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, there are a lot of companies that always check criminal history.
As a result
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, a number of ex-offenders are unemployed and have to offend again. One of the effective modes to handle
this
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 issue is that the government should introduce a policy that can help to improve
prisoners
Use synonyms
'
skills
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 during their sentence.
That is
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 to say, the offenders should be taught some
skills
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 when they are in jail so that they can utilize these
skills
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 to support their lives after punishment. On top of that, the public should change their vision of former
prisoners
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. In simple terms, people in the community should provide ex-criminals with the chance to get a job so that they will be self-supporting and not back to crime. To summarize, committing more crimes by criminals is mainly caused by the lack of rehabilitation facilities and the terrible attitude of people in society. the government and the public should cooperate to solve
this
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 problem by educating
prisoners
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 about beneficial
skills
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 and altering their attitude toward ex-offenders.
Submitted by yanaphon.t on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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