Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
believe that the current methods of pupils and teachers in education will be changed by 2050. I do not completely agree with
this
idea because compelling reasons that will be mentioned. On the one hand, new technological facilities are widely used in schools and universities.
This
modern equipment has been utilized especially after the Crona pandemic
due to
various regulations all around the world. When realizing online education is more convenient and less time-consuming,
people
speculated about maintaining
this
system even after the pandemic.
However
,
this
approach to long-distance learning might not be possible in some countries
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
lack of updated facilities and limitations on the Internet.
For instance
, censorship of the Internet in Iran has been posed by the
government
.
This
problem influenced the quality of the Net which made it difficult for ordinary
people
to access the free Net.
On the other hand
, another significant reason might be that teaching is considered an important profession in many countries. If the
government
want to grant permission
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
teach educational
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
to computers and Artificial Intelligence, a great number of
people
would be unemployed.
In addition
, many individuals have studied to be a teacher and the
government
has invested a budget in nurturing teachers.
Therefore
, it is not rational to expect that the traditional teaching strategy will completely be different in the next thirty years.
To sum up
, I personally believe that thanks to the new technologies and AI is possible to expect changes in current education but, it might not be possible in all nations.
Moreover
, the
government
would not accept that because it causes an increase in the unemployment rate.
Submitted by Pbaharlou70 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Consider expanding your introduction with a clearer outline of your essay's structure. This makes it easier for your reader to understand the flow of your argument from the beginning.
coherence
Make sure to use a variety of linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Avoid repetition and strive for a natural progression of ideas.
task response
For a stronger argument, consider directly addressing the question in both your introduction and conclusion, explicitly stating your opinion.
grammar and accuracy
Try to correct minor grammatical mistakes and typos to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay. While these don't drastically impact your score, they contribute to a smoother reading experience.
development
Incorporate more detailed examples or evidence to back up your points. While some examples are provided, deeper analysis or more specific illustrations can help to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
argument balance
You have provided a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking.
use of examples
Your essay includes relevant examples, enhancing your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: