Studies suggest that the rise in the consumption of junk foods is the major cause of obesity. Some people argue that this problem can be tackled to a great extent by increasing the prices of these food items. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, the growing number of pupils who has overweight are dramatically increasing by overconsuming junk
foods
. Some people argue that can be found out by setting the higher price of
this
food
.
Therefore
, I personally disagree with the statement because of some reasons mentioned below.
To begin
with, Obesity has become one of the most pressing issues in recent years.
Initially
, The student always prefer to eat fast
food
because it offers convenient places to gather social clubs,
such
as KFC, Mc Donal.
Furthermore
, the priority factor why fast
foods
caused obesity is due to cheap prices than other
foods
.
As a result
, increasing the prices of these
food
items would not be decreased a high number of offspring stopping eating rubbish
foods
. To tackle
this
problem, there are several reasons to convince their children to avoid
this
food
.
Firstly
, their parents should prepare or provide some mouthwatering cuisine for them when they come back home.
Secondly
, the state government should take responsibility for building harmful awareness of junk cooking, adding in their circumstances for learning in schools.
Additionally
,
although
increasing the price of these meals might contribute to reducing overweight people, it can lead to inequality in consumption caused by higher prices.
Therefore
, the practical solutions that can solve
this
problem are
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
authorities should be educated citizens to know the appropriate quantity of consuming these
foods
. In conclusion, I do strongly not advocate that others require the government must rising the price of
this
meat.
Although
the government takes a crucial role to fix these problems in numerous aspects, they should not push the burden of eating on citizens. If they prefer to consume, they should admit how risky trash foodstuff is.
Submitted by Duangjai.lot on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: