IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries old people are highly valued and in other countries the young are considered to be more valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many states considered that senior citizens are more important than young society, while other lands hold the view that young
people
Use synonyms
 are highly valued.In spite of different views on
this
Linking Words
, I believe that adults are important for a country as they are having vast experiences to guide the society while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 younger
people
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 important as they are the future of a nation. Some States give higher
value
Use synonyms
 to the older crowd than the younger.
This
Linking Words
 is because according to their cultures,giving more
value
Use synonyms
 and respect to
elders
Use synonyms
 consider good human quality and
elders
Use synonyms
 consider precious because they are having
Add an article
a
the
show examples
vast experience that youngers do not have.
In other words
Linking Words
,
elders
Use synonyms
 have wise knowledge to guide youngers as well as make better judgements.In Sri Lanka,
for example
Linking Words
, families' important decisions are always taken by parents or grandparents and children listen to them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,some countries give more
value
Use synonyms
 to young
people
Use synonyms
 than adults as they believe that the youth generation is capable of accomplishing many things which help to develop a country.To be specific ,they are more energetic,have an ability to co-op with new knowledge and technology ,and can grow into skilful
people
Use synonyms
 in future.These qualities are invaluable for the future development of a country.These are the reasons that some countries more emphasis on individual growth and development of younger crowd than older
people
Use synonyms
. To conclude,while many countries may positive about giving higher
value
Use synonyms
 to
elders
Use synonyms
,I believe that both young and
elders
Use synonyms
 are important to the success of a society.
This
Linking Words
 is because
elders
Use synonyms
 have more experience to guide younger, as well as youngers are capable to develop a nation with their unique skills.
Submitted by sandamalipc1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Elderly
  • Accumulated wisdom
  • Tradition and history
  • Guidance
  • Family life
  • Cultural practices
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic productivity
  • Adaptable
  • Globalized societies
  • Physical attributes
  • Labor force
  • Economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: