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Band 6.5

In modern society, more and more people live longer. Do you think the benefits of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#society #people #situation
Many can attest to the claim that an extension of life expectancy has done society some good. Personally, I believe that despite the good intentions behind living longer, there will be disadvantageous in the long run. It is said that longer expectancy has some noteworthy positive effects.
People
, who have a longer life expectancy, will have more time to be useful and active. Individuals can look for some opportunities to find
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
, commute to their places of interest, make an arduous journey,
enjoy
Correct word choice
and enjoy
show examples
 local cuisine and specialities.
Besides
, they can help the busy parents by looking after their grandchildren
such
 as collecting children from school;
moreover
, they could share their life experiences with the younger generation. The fact remains,
however
, that there are underlying risks and dangers associated with living longer. To survive, the advantages of an increase in the average lifespan depend on good
health
 and more money.
People
 speculate
this
 might be due to the fact that older
people
 have a tendency to suffer from medical problems
such
 as diabetes and muscle pain which will
affacted
Correct your spelling
affect
affected
 strongly to their activities.
As a result
, the more medical problems they have, the more
health
 care cost they have to pay.
In addition
, many older
people
 just won't have been able to save enough for a lengthy old age if they aren't working, so they will have to rely on savings and pensions to support their lifestyle. While the advantages are clear, the drawbacks of
people
 living longer are still brought to light by those against the implications for
health
 and money. If living longer simply means chronic
health
 complaints and grinding poverty for a longer time, it is questionable as to whether it is an advantage at all.
Submitted by nguyenthuytien1609 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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