You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #people #newspapers #news #tv

It is true that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these days, it is hard to find the young who read newspapers or watch the news on TV. I think there are three factors why

this

phenomenon happens.

First,

how people gain information has changed. Unlike ten years ago, now we do everything with our mobiles.

For instance

, I sometimes watch today's news on

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

or read short articles

while

I am on the subway. It is much more convenient and now it

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

a new trend.

Secondly

, they don't like to read long sentences.

Due to

social media, teenagers got accustomed to videos, pictures and short messages.

Finally

, people don't trust broadcast or newspaper companies anymore. They often work with politicians and it is hard to believe what they show on TV. I believe education is the key to

solve

Wrong verb form

solving

show examples

this

problem. It is important to make students get used to reading books and newspapers. Schools have to provide their materials on paper, not through their websites or emails. I've seen a few schools nowadays

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

give students

Ipads

Correct your spelling

iPads

show examples

then

they can study on those devices.

Also

, we have to limit the use of smartphones in schools. It will distract children from what they need to focus on.

Furthermore

, I think teachers and parents should control the amount of time their kids spend on social media.

Instead

, reading the newspaper and watching the news in the living room together might help to tackle

this

challenge. In conclusion, the world changes quickly and it is inevitable to face

such

changes.

However

, adults should let children know that they have a variety of choices when selecting data.

Submitted by dob.jeong on Wed Nov 13 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your examples, as it will make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph logically leads to the next and try using connecting phrases to improve flow.

task achievement

You could explore more causes or solutions for a robust argument.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is clear, with a strong introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

You managed to address the essay prompt accurately and included your perspectives.

task achievement

Your writing is focused and mostly clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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