IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

2. Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
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It is still controversial whether
people
Use synonyms
 should pursue academic study at university or apply for a vocational training course. While somebody believes that an academic career is essential, I would argue that we should encourage more
people
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 to be qualified as
workers
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 who do manual
jobs
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. On the one hand, there is a school of thought that university study is of importance.
People
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 supporting
this
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 point of view would argue that pursuing an academic career could give them an opportunity to have a more rewarding job. More specifically,
such
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 intellectual
jobs
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 as engineers and politicians, which are often considered to be more lucrative than manual
jobs
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, could only be acquired through academic study.
Therefore
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,
people
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 are more attracted to these occupations.
However
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,
people
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 doing labour work could still be well-paid if they are skilful enough.
On the other hand
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, I advocate the point of view that more
people
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 should apply for vocational courses. To elucidate, manual
jobs
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such
Linking Words
 as electricians or construction
workers
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 are the building blocks of
society
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, which have been contributing much to the development of
society
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.
For example
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,
such
Linking Words
workers
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 are vital when new buildings are constructed or when existing buildings have to be renovated or simply maintained.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
jobs
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 are now slowly disappearing as there is an increasing number of
people
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 having a desire for applying for intellectually-demanding works
such
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 as engineers or accountants, which could cause an imbalance in the economy as graduate
people
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 are unemployed while at the same time there is a shortage of skilled labour.
Therefore
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, vocational training should be encouraged to ensure equality between intellectual and labour
jobs
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 in
society
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. In conclusion, I agree that it is vital that we encourage more
people
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 to do vocational training because ,without
such
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 skilled
workers
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,
society
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 cannot function effectively.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
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