many people get little or no exercise either during the working day or i their free time and have health problems as a result. why do many working people not get enough exercise? what can be done about this problem?

Many
individuals
do not
exercise
enough, so they deal with different diseases.
This
essay aims to examine the causes of
immobility
and suggest how to face them. Three reasons can explain the reason for lack of movement, which is followed by illness. Nowadays, in most works no need for physical activity. Due to massive progression in any field of science, the worker only sit on cheers and via a click on their computer can do any tasks, so they do not have any action or practice by the body to job done.
Secondly
,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
enough money and
time
force
people
to vast their
time
to achieve more money. Because of the severe need for more income,
people
are forced to do more work and have different jobs to satisfy their needs, so they do not have
time
and money to
exercise
.
In addition
, the volume of
people
's knowledge about the consequences of
immobility
leads them to not
exercise
even in their free
time
; due to not having enough reading or beneficence programs,
people
do not know about
exercise
and its benefits. To resolve the issue, the
government
should make a rule to force all employees and staff to
exercise
. By
this
rule the average
time
of staff which do physical
exercise
significantly increased.
Government
should allocate enough
time
to the work of all working persons to do some light practice in working places, and consider a charge for
people
not to do that.
Additionally
, the
government
should improve
people
's financial situation, so
people
have more free
time
by less working, and can allocate a part of their
time
to do different sports activities.
Government
can, in different ways create appropriate job opportunities for
individuals
to solve
people
's financial concerns.
Moreover
, informing and making
people
aware, can lead
people
to do physical activities. If
people
know about the benefits of
exercise
may stay away from
immobility
. If they know they can be deterred from most health problems and due to
exercise
they can be healthy they do more sports. In conclusion,
immobility
is caused by the advancement of science, financial problems, and lack of enough awareness, which makes
individuals
not
exercise
in their free
time
. To increase the amount of
exercise
in society, the
government
should make rules to force
people
to do physical activity in their workplaces, improve the general condition of
people’s
Change noun form
people
show examples
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
, and make
individuals
aware of the benefits of sport.
Submitted by moradkhanighane on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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