IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

There is no denying the fact that social
media
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 has helped
people
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 around the world to stay informed easily.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that being updated with the latest news and
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
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 with other individuals fully depends on social
media
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, there is
also
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 an argument that social
media
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 has a negative impact on
people
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.
This
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 essay will analyze
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my own opinion. On one hand, since social
media
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 started, it has been improving remarkably to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 point that with one touch you can reach a specific person.
In other words
Linking Words
, it made communication between
people
Use synonyms
 a much easier task than it was before.
In addition
Linking Words
, being updated with the latest news is a perk that social
media
Use synonyms
 apps and programs have given us.
For example
Linking Words
, we used to wait for daily newspapers which often are outdated just to be informed about what is happening around us, but now if we
entered
Wrong verb form
enter
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 any one of the well-known social
media
Use synonyms
 apps we can get the latest news,
hence
Linking Words
 explaining why it is difficult to forsake.
On the other hand
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, the negative influence can be quite concerning, as social
media
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 tends to fill your brain with unrecognizable ideas. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that most
people
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whom
Change the pronoun
who
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 are under the influence of propaganda are extreme users of social
media
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 apps. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that social
media
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 has a far more positive impact.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and make your essay more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the clarity of your points by using a more varied range of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs together smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents a balanced view, which sets the stage for the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You attempted to address both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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