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Band 4.5

NOWADAYS ROBOTS DO MORE AND MORE JOBS INSTEAD OF HUMANS. DOES THIS DEVELOPMENT HAVE MORE ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES?

#robots #jobs #humans #development
As new technologies continue to emerge, more and more organizations are beginning to adopt
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and make changes to the way they run. One of these changes is the replacement of
humans
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
robots
 in jobs that were formally executed by
humans
. While
this
 may be seen as an advancement of some sort, I seriously stand against it as I believe that the risks and disadvantages associated with it outweighs the benefits.
Firstly
, I do not think that
robots
 can completely take the place of a human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, because, in the
first
 place, these
robots
 need a human person to check and maintain them for
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to run smoothly. The cost of doing
this
 is very high and not all companies can afford
this
. Even those who can afford it cannot continue to keep up with
such
 expenditure. Unlike
humans
 who are rational and can adapt to changing situations and
also
 react to them
accordingly
,
robots
 are programmed to follow a set of instructions and a change in situation and prompts can lead to a technical malfunction which defeats the purpose for which these
robots
 were installed.
Secondly
, the replacement of
humans
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
robots
 will leave a lot of
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 jobless and poor. The consequence of
this
 is that many families will be forced to deal with poverty and the rate of crime will in turn go up. If the people are jobless, there will be
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 in tax and the government will
also
 be affected, ultimately the economy will suffer. No
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
show examples
, there are a few advantages that
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 with the adoption and application of technology,
nonetheless
, from the arguments in
this
 essay, one can see that the disadvantages associated with
this
 change are way too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
.
Robots
 can and should only be applied as a supporting role to make work easier for
humans
 but definitely not as a replacement.
Submitted by bolud.akinyemi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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