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Band 5

Some believe hosting major international sporting events will bring benefits to the country. Others believe it might bring disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#believe #events #country
As
Correct word choice
While
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 some think that hosting major international sporting activities will bring advantages to the
country
, others have a dissenting view by siding on the negative aspects of it. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and state my opinion. On the one hand, there are benefits and demerits associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 hosting major international sporting events by a
country
. Coming to its benefits;
Firstly
, hosting major international sporting events by a
country
 has the tendency to thrust a
country
to
Change preposition
into
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 its limelight thereby creating room for business
partnership
Fix the agreement mistake
partnerships
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 from other developed countries and opulent
Correct your spelling
businessmen
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business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
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 around the globe, every
country
 in the world is looking for a
country
that is
 making strides to partner with so as to keep the ball rolling towards a goal of reaching to its desired crescendo.
For example
; I was opportuned to see a
country
 of my resident jolting to partner with another
country
 because that
country
 hits a blockbuster. Another
advantages
Replace the adjective
advantage
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 that might
enamate
Correct your spelling
emanate
 from
such
idea
Correct article usage
an idea
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 is that it will make room for emigrants to immigrate to that
country
 thereby making
such
country
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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stand a test of time and keep up to the jones, as success breeds success, people will always want
settle
Fix the infinitive
to settle
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 in a
country
that is
 progress
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to succeed too.
For instance
, being privileged to be in a place where things are going
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right horizon will always
brings
Change the verb form
bring
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 about
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to succeed.
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages expected to surface,
firstly
, it will create room for criminality as different people that
has
Change the verb form
have
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 the propensity to steal night utilize
such
 opportunity to immigrate to
such
country
.
for example
, in a situation where a
country
 has announced itself in terms of making progress, individuals with different malfeasance might want to reside in
such
country
 and pose a threat
on
Change preposition
to
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 the residents. In conclusion, as there are demerits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 hosting
a major international sporting events
Correct the article-noun agreement
major international sporting events
a major international sporting event
show examples
, I still believe that the merits
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 its demerits
Submitted by bolanlejudith on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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