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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?

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Nowadays, it is a common belief that a lot of communities believe that self-employed could be more beneficial than employees.
However
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, there is a more persuasive argument that
self-employed
Add a missing verb
being self-employed
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 has some risks
such
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 as unstable income and hard time management. The main advantage is that some
people
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 believe that being self-employed has high risks, but it has a high return.
That is
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 self-employed have some advantages because they can make more
wage
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wages
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 and manage their time schedule by themselves.
For example
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, highly talented
people
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 who have an excellent ability to earn money are easy to make their own market. In the media, there are some stories that
people
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 who change their job from employee to self-employed have success and a lot of money which office workers cannot earn.
As a result
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,
people
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 want to be successful
people
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 and envy them. Despite these advantages, the disadvantage of
this
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 is that self-employed is not adjusted for all
people
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 because it could
be required
Wrong verb form
require
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 self-managed well and excellent skills. It is true that managing
by self
Correct your spelling
oneself
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 and getting skills is very difficult.
For instance
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, to compete against a
company
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 self-employed
has
Wrong verb form
people have
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 to make effort more than the
company
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 because the
company
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 has diverse employees who have expertise in their job. Even though they might get a high income from self-business, their financial status is unstable.
In addition
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, the customer tends to believe in a
company
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 than a personal business. In conclusion,
while
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 there are some advantages to benefit from self-business, it is evident that the disadvantages of being self-employed outweigh them.
Therefore
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, it is important that
people
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 should decide carefully
to begin
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 self-employed.

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task achievement
Ensure that the main points are supported with relevant examples and develop a clear argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow and coherence of ideas between paragraphs. Use transition words and proper structuring to link ideas effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • autonomy
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • financial instability
  • self-motivation
  • benefits
  • job security
  • healthcare
  • retirement plans
  • administrative tasks
  • compliance
  • isolation
  • camaraderie
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