IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

#government #ban #places #people #freedoms
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Smoking is a common activity in
this
Linking Words
 modern society as more and more teenagers start to
smoke
Use synonyms
 even though they are not adults already. Not all
people
Use synonyms
 like the smell and the
smoke
Use synonyms
 from cigarettes, so
government
Use synonyms
 tends to impede their residents to
smoke
Use synonyms
 in public. As far as I am concerned, I cannot agree with
this
Linking Words
 strategy from the
government
Use synonyms
 for several reasons. Designing a suitable area for
people
Use synonyms
 to
smoke
Use synonyms
 in public is more appropriate than banning all the places. Some
people
Use synonyms
 viewed smoking as a stress-release tool which can help them relax their mind or body after working for a long time. If there does not exist any area that allows them to
smoke
Use synonyms
, it may cause serious problems.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will be starting smoking in the interior of the building or in cars in order to prevent being caught by police, but it actually raises the rate of building or car fired and the atmosphere in the office or building becomes worse. To decrease the population of smoking
people
Use synonyms
 or air pollution from cigarettes, there are some other ways worth
government
Use synonyms
 work on. Other
people
Use synonyms
’s health issue is the fundamental thing that each smoking
people
Use synonyms
 should,
although
Linking Words
 they need a cigarette in their daily life, they
also
Linking Words
 need to consider whether it will affect
people
Use synonyms
’s life. Especially when children are nearby, children should be far away from cigarettes during they are growing up, so that can provide a good environment to survive. In conclusion, the
government
Use synonyms
 banning all public smoking places will bring some problems which might be serious. For me, I do not accept the
government
Use synonyms
 shutting down that area to
smoke
Use synonyms
, suitable facilities setting or concepts are more important.
Submitted by patrick880613 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: