In today's world, the pressure of modern life negatively impacting family life. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, people’s personal lives

get

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

pressurized by the modern norms of living.

Linking Words

While

Correct word choice

apply

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I agree with

this

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notion because competition and priority for fulfilling monetary needs have increased over the

last

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few decades.

Firstly

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, human beings do overtime at the workplace which leaves less time for their families.

This

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causes work-life

disbalance

Correct your spelling

imbalance

show examples

. To illustrate,

for enjoying

Change preposition

to enjoy

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modern comforts

such

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as a luxurious house and car, one works hard beyond his regular physical and mental capacity to take the pressure that makes individuals stay isolated for so long from their dear ones.

Consequently

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, more frustration

due to

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work leads to a

negatively impacting

Replace the word

negative impact

show examples

on household relationships.

Secondly

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, people give more importance to money these days

instead

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of love and affection from loved ones.

Due to

Linking Words

this

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materialistic thinking and artificial comforts, most of the population wants to stay alone or live in relationships without living with more family members.

For example

Linking Words

, a study

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

conducted on the young generation at Harvard University and it illustrated the results of modern technological advances on youngsters in Japan as 85% of them do not like to have a family life and prefer to live alone in their expensive apartments and mostly socialize with online friends; thereby declining significance of family bondings.

To conclude

Linking Words

due to

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the increasing modernization phenomenon in the world one’s family life gets distracted which would be caused by more importance to work, money, monetary comforts and privacy.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in the future, fewer and fewer people

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

give preference to being married and having children.

gurmeetkaursandhu94

Jul 12, 2022

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task response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure logical flow and connection between ideas within and between paragraphs.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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All high school students should be encouraged to take part in community service programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.