IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe that they should start school at the age of seven. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #school #age #seven
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 life.some individuals believe that
children
 should start school as soon as possible, whereas remaining thinks they should start school at the age of seven.After I will discuss both the views in
ensuing
Correct article usage
the ensuing
show examples
 paragraphs I
Correct your spelling
discuss
discussed
discusse
Correct your spelling
discuss
 my opinion. To commence with,
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 reason is they understand easily all the things.I mean to say that if
children
 should begin school in earlier life they learn all the things.
Moreover
,they get new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life as well as they don't
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
able on her family.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 earlier age child is not know
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
very well,
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 the work is done. So when he/she
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 to
going
Change the form of the verb
go
show examples
. institution as soon as possible they easily learn how
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
 the work.
Hence
,they don't
be depend
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on others when he growing up he
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 the work easily.
On the other hand
,some folks think that child should begin
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 academy when he is seven years old .the primary reason is seven years old
children
 know very well about eating and
self cleaning
Add a hyphen
self-cleaning
show examples
.so in
this
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
children
 handle easily.
thus
,it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 the stress of the parents which on the offspring. To conclude, education is a very crucial part of
soul
Add an article
the soul
show examples
 in the modern era. I stand with the latter statement because safety and understanding are the most important
Submitted by godarashivam2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: