IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: osay how well you know your friend odescribe the qualifications and experience that your friend has oExplain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

#friends #job #summer #school #camp #sports #trainer #manager #friend #osay #odescribe #qualifications #oexplain
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Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter to recommend one of my friends named Maninder Chaudhary for a job in the summer camp organised by you. He is my childhood mate and he happens to be my best friend. At present, he is
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
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 his graduation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Sports Nutrition. He is very studious and he secured 95 per cent marks in his previous examination.
Moreover
, he is a national level Cricketer and Captain of his College team. He is an energetic and sports lover person. Adding more to it, he is a
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
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 and sincere youngster. Probing
further
, his basics about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Cricket are very clear,
because
Correct word choice
and because
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 of
this
 he was awarded
with
Remove the preposition
apply
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Add an article
a player
the player
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player
Capitalize word
Player
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 of the
season
Capitalize word
Season
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 award
last
 year. His presence of mind in the field has been applauded by many former players of the game. His positive attitude for his game
as well as
 in his life is worth praising.
As you
Correct word choice
You
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 have advertised that you have introduced Cricket for the very first time in summer school camp and you are looking for a Coach.
Thus
, he is an ideal candidate for the post and participants will
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
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by
Change preposition
from
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 his knowledge. I hope you will consider these recommendations and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The letter contains a clear and polite greeting and closing.
task achievement
The letter effectively provides a complete and relevant response to the task.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriately formal and complimentary.
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