Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think It is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

Nowadays, there are various types of occupation in all nations.

However

, a group of

people

believes sportspeople can have more salaries than those in other vital areas, whereas others think it is unjustifiable.

Although

some professions in education and health area are essential to

people

’s lives, I agree if the athlete earns more money because they have a short optimal age and the majority of them started sports in childhood. On the one hand, teachers and

nurses

are needed for

people

to live.

First

and foremost, teachers create greater value for society since they teach important knowledge and shape children's character.

For example

, former President of the United States, Barrack

Obamma

Correct your spelling

Obama

, grew up in Indonesia, and he still remembers what his teacher taught about diversity in Indonesia.

Likewise

nurses

work relentlessly to keep someone alive and stay healthy. Emergency circumstance like

Covid-19

Correct article usage

the Covid-19

show examples

pandemic makes

people

heavily rely on

nurses

and doctors.

On the other hand

, Sports stars deserve big salaries because they have a short golden period to maintain their performance. Some studies believe sportsman’s performance will drop after the age of thirty.

For instance

, there are a few

people

who

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

in the peak level until

late

Correct article usage

the late

show examples

30s

such

as Christiano Ronaldo and Messi but other than them mostly retired. After being an athlete, the job offered for

people

in the early 40s is not too much, and

this

is the main reason for

Add an article

an athlete

show examples

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

should have big pay-check. In conclusion, I believe that sportspeople should receive a huge compensation for their work because they have a shorter career than

nurses

and teachers.

Submitted by damaspandya on Tue Jul 12 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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