Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Celebrities
Use synonyms
nowadays are more famous for their glamour and
wealth
Use synonyms
than for their achievements. It is believed by some people that those stars negatively impact teens. I strongly agree that it sets a bad example for young people. On one hand,
celebrities
Use synonyms
who are famous for allure and
wealth
Use synonyms
negatively impact the young mentally, which brings the younger generation wrong values.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the teens see that those
celebrities
Use synonyms
are famous only for their
wealth
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
may lead to money worship among the young since money is a more important factor to be successful.
Also
Linking Words
, the glamour or beauty of
celebrities
Use synonyms
is highlighted in society. It may bring the teens a kind of body or appearance anxiety since beauty is one standard to be famous and successful. The
youth
Use synonyms
who are not pretty enough or have a fantastic body figure may not feel confident with themselves, and in extreme cases, depression and anxiety can be caused due to body shame.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those
celebrities
Use synonyms
set bad examples for the
youth
Use synonyms
in their future careers as well. As the
youth
Use synonyms
see from the
celebrities
Use synonyms
that achievements and hard work are not valued, they may not work hard to reach their goals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the productivity and efficiency of their study and work are lowered among the
youth
Use synonyms
significantly. In conclusion, in my opinion, the
celebrities
Use synonyms
who are more famous for their glamour and
wealth
Use synonyms
than for their achievements do set bad examples for the
youth
Use synonyms
since they affect the younger ones mentally and physically.
Submitted by kikipu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: