Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree

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House
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is
one
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of
elementary
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the elementary
show examples
needs of people. In my country, there are 3 basic needs for people, clothes,
foods
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food
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, and
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house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
/place for living. In my opinion, owning a
home
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rather than renting
one
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is important for
human
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humans
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
, by owning a
home
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, we can live
more
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a more
show examples
peaceful life. We feel secure until we grow old
for
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apply
show examples
years in the future. We have no worries
for
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about
show examples
being kicked out
from
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of
show examples
our
house
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. Owning a
home
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is
one
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of
Add an article
a contributor
the contributor
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contributor
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contributors
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to our happy
live
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life
show examples
.
Second
Linking Words
, by owning a
home
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, we can do anything to make our
house
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becomes whatever we want. We can change the model, furniture, even
colour
Correct article usage
the colour
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of our
house
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. We don’t have to ask permission if we want to do something to our
house
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.
Besides
Linking Words
that, owning a
house
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means we have an investment for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. The price of
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house
Add an article
the house
a house
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usually grows every year.
For example
Linking Words
, in Jakarta,
capital
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the capital
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of Indonesia the price of
landed
Correct article usage
a landed
show examples
Use synonyms
house
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houses
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becomes double every 5 years.
This
Linking Words
means having a
house
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especially
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,especially
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in Jakarta is
one
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of the smartest investments. Having
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house
Add an article
a house
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
means we know our neighbour deeply. People who live
their
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in their
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own
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home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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usually know their surroundings better than those
only
Correct pronoun usage
who only
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rent
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home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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for
living
Correct article usage
a living
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. The atmosphere of
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house
Add an article
the house
show examples
also
Linking Words
becomes warmer.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, owning
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home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
also
Linking Words
has unfavourable things. We have to
spent
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spend
show examples
budget
Correct pronoun usage
our budget
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
maintaining
of
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apply
show examples
our
home
Use synonyms
. We have to pay
tax
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taxes
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every year, and
also
Linking Words
some risks like natural
disaster
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disasters
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,
earthquake
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earthquakes
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, or even
disaster
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disasters
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caused by
human
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humans
show examples
.
Consider
Wrong verb form
Considering
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their positive and negative sides,
i
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I
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conclude that owning a
home
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still has more positive impacts
to
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on
show examples
our life. So, if we have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to have
Use synonyms
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
then
Linking Words
go to have it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental responsibility
  • Upbringing
  • Influence
  • Accountability
  • Ethically justifiable
  • Legal ramifications
  • Systemic issues
  • Community programs
  • Personal choice
  • Peer influence
What to do next:
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