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Band 4.5

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or not?

#road #safety #punishments #offenses
Making roads
are be
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are
show examples
 a secure place for
publich
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public
 who want to use these for transportation is a challengable situation for governments that they want to create the series of
laws
 which are
usefull
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useful
 for preventing accidents ,so ,some opine the
punishment
 is a good way to make
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 would avoid from
braking
Correct your spelling
breaking
show examples
 the
laws
 of driving ,
however
, others have stated
awards
 are
also
 potential to building better behaviours on
statying
Correct your spelling
staying
in
Add a hyphen
in-laws
show examples
laws
,
dinally
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finally
, I would prefer to choose both for managing drivers that they
are be
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are
show examples
 a lawful
persons
Correct the article-noun agreement
person
show examples
 on the roads,for
this
 reason, I am going to
bringe
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bring
 some piece of
evidences
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evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 to explore pros and cons of these approaches. In a beginning , in
a
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apply
show examples
2022,
UK
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the UK
show examples
have
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has
show examples
 been studied
on
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apply
show examples
the
numbers
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number
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 of accidents that have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened due to passing from the standard speed in subways , in
supporting
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support
show examples
from
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of
show examples
this
 study many countries have repeated
this
 exploration
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their information and reached the same results that have stated the tight
laws
 are good
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
 factor for preventing from high-speed for cars ,
as a result
 ,it has seen a significant improvement on crush accidental events ,so,these countries that have
a tight
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tight laws
a tight law
show examples
laws
 are more successful in
this
 regard.
In
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On
show examples
other
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the other
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hands
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hand
show examples
, the system of
punishment
 is not the only way to manage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to
made
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make
show examples
 them behaving in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper on the streets ,
for example
 ,when the UK
have
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has
show examples
 been considered
awards
 for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 who have not a history of breaking
laws
 during their driving in a year ,suddenly ,the percentage of little driving crimes
such
 as parking in
a forbidden places
Correct the article-noun agreement
forbidden places
a forbidden place
show examples
 or passing a red light has been
been
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
dropped ,so, it is confirmed governments can be used from
awards
 to encourage their
citizents
Correct your spelling
citizens
 that they are a lawful driver. To summarize,
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
 must consider a great
punishment
 for high-speeding to
Correct your spelling
prevent
pevent
Correct your spelling
prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accidents
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 roads and give
awards
 for little deviation from normal driving behaviour
such
 as parking in unallowing places and
paasing
Correct your spelling
passing
 from a red light ,
finally
 ,
punishment
 is not the only factor to encourage people to be a
lawfull
Correct your spelling
lawful
 citizen.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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