IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on societies and so must be banned. Other people; however, say that they are just harmful and help people to relax. Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effect #societies #points
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Nowadays, videos and online
games
Use synonyms
 are getting popular in our societies.
However
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, it has been a widespread argument that both of them should be prohibited because they led to destructive
impact
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impacts
show examples
. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 others believe that it supports
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to be chill since it is an unrealistic feature. In
this
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 essay, I will try to discuss both views and address my opinion. On the one hand, the negative sides of films
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 from inappropriate scenes and the way
people
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 interpreted
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Uncenssored
Correct your spelling
Uncensored
image
Fix the agreement mistake
images
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 may lead
people
Use synonyms
 to absorb and imitate a bad action in the wrong context.
For example
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, the suicide's background can be followed by
people
Use synonyms
 with minimum supervision as they feel related to the storyline.
Besides
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, the ideas behind the production
sometimes
Add a missing verb
are sometimes
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 transferred into the implicit lines. As a consequence, if
people
Use synonyms
 consider the story as a factual phenomenon, they will be
Correct your spelling
misled
mislead
misleaded
Correct your spelling
misled
show examples
 by the illusion.
On the other hand
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,
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 actions may give
people
Use synonyms
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to trait their
adrenalines
Correct your spelling
adrenaline
 and help them to enjoy their spare time. Many think of
games
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 and movies as only dimensional graphics which has no significant consequences.
For instance
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,
people
Use synonyms
 assured that they have their own logic to process
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
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 is right or wrong, they could not easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be trapped.
Furthermore
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, watching a movie or playing a game can help
people
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 to release their stress.
As a result
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, they will be more productive and get
work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
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 balance. To conclude, in a polarization opinion about films and video
games
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, there must be a benefit and
drawback
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drawbacks
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. Even if many
people
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 think that TV series or
games
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 support
people
Use synonyms
's mental health,
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however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 I firmly believe that those give many negative impacts
such
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 as imitating to fight or
misintepretation
Correct your spelling
misinterpretation
.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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