Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #focus #pollution #illness #disease

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Illness and disease can be a heavy burden for families in poor situations. Some of

this

Linking Words

suffering is highly related to the

environment

Use synonyms

and accommodations. Some believe that it’s the

government

Use synonyms

’s responsibility to improve the surrounding quality for citizens. In my point of view, it is the

government

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

taking care of the issue.

First,

Linking Words

the

government

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is the only entity that has the power

of protecting

Change preposition

to protect

show examples

the

environment

Use synonyms

Hazard

Fix the agreement mistake

Hazards

show examples

including harmful gas, particles and water from factories need to be processed before emitting into the open

environment

Use synonyms

, and companies

are

Verb problem

show examples

not naturally

desired

Wrong verb form

desire

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to do so for cost reasons. The

government

Use synonyms

can use executive and legal measures, which none of the other organizations can do, to contain these behaviours.

For example

Linking Words

, the London

government

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passed the law of clean air and took measures to help residents get rid of burning coal for heating in the 1950s to fight against the great smog which potentially caused thousands of deaths during the period.

Second,

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health is highly relevant to habitat conditions. Research has shown that more than a hundred physical and mental illness is related to pollution and living quality.

Such

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problems can partly be solved by a well urban planning and organization, which is the

government

Use synonyms

’s duty.

For instance

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, a city with well-designed architecture can place people in desirable surroundings and ease their mental stress with good scenery and society. In a word, improving the

environment

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and accommodation should be placed in the prior position on the

government

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’s to-do list.

Submitted by bfl on Wed Jul 13 2022

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content

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen the argument and make the essay more persuasive.

structure

Ensure that your ideas are presented in a clear and organized manner to improve coherence and cohesion. Rephrase or reorder sentences to enhance clarity and flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

respiratory diseases
heart conditions
incidence
affordable housing
stress
infectious diseases
preventative measures
cost-effective
healthcare infrastructure
comprehensive approach
global warming
climate change
exacerbated

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Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a concern that many minority languages may disappear. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice ?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?