IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, there are many
health
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problems
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 for
people
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. Of course, not everyone can afford
health
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 services. Some
people
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 said,
people
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 should not have to pay to take care of their
health
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, because it is the main responsibility of the government. Despite, In some treatments that have a high cost to pay. they should have many choices to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
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 I strongly agree with the ideas
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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given. In the following paragraphs, I would outline the details to support my agreement.
Health
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problems
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 tend to be more serious
problems
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 in our societies. Especially, in the elderly generation that could have money from a full-time job.
as a result
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 some elderly can not pay much to maintain their body well-being. Not only the elderly generation but
also
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 other generations.
Such
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 as teenagers and middle-aged. They might have some
problems
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 with financing to pay for medication.
Therefore
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, the government should take action to solve
this
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 problem seriously. They should determine more in these policies can provide good
health
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 for
people
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 in societies. If
people
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 have good
health
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 and a good mind ,they will have the energy to drive the societies. following
this
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,
health
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 services should be a thing that everyone can afford with no pay. In the conclusion, From my point of view, every
people
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 in society do not have to pay to keep their life or maintain their
health
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 because it is the responsibility of the government. And everyone should have a choice to choose the type of medication that they want to pay more to obtain.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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