More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

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In an ever-progressive society , a growing number of individuals in impoverished nations have a propensity to buy vehicles .
This
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development may lead to overcontrol
air
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pollution
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, but it can be tackled by upgrading public
transport
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facilities. It is vital to understand that the severe
air
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pollution
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results from increasing private
transport
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appearance. It should be acknowledged that the more vehicles on the road , the more adverse emissions they release.
Consequently
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, it is detrimental to residential health because negative releases cause some breathing issues, not least lung cancer. Vietnam
,
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apply
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has a great diversity of private
transport
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used for travelling, which is why
this
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nation ranked with the most serious
air
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pollution
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rates all over the world.
Thus
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, the negative releases from cars have a bad effect on citizens' health.
However
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,
this
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issue can be dealt with by the enhancement of public
transport
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services. It must be noted that by improving bus and train facilities, it is possible for dwellers to travel to workplaces or entertainment complexes by public
transport
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instead
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of private ones.
As a result
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, it will cope with a great amount of detrimental gases released into the environment.
This
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is true for the USA , which encourages individuals to travel by electric buses and underground trains in order to alleviate bad emissions.
Therefore
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,
air
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pollution
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may not be deemed a severe environmental problem. In conclusion, the significant increase in vehicles brings about contaminated
air
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in the environment .
However
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, public
transport
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will be the most suitable measure to cope with problems in
this
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circumstance
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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct small grammatical and stylistic errors, such as missing words or misplaced commas. For instance, the phrase 'overcontrol air pollution' needs to be correctly phrased.
conclusion
Ensure that your conclusion brings together all the main points discussed and provides a satisfying closure to your essay. The current conclusion is incomplete and lacks a clear restatement of the thesis.
style
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and professional. For example, avoid repetition by using synonyms or related terms.
structure
The essay has a clear and logical structure with distinct paragraphs addressing the problems and solutions.
examples
Good use of examples, such as Vietnam and the USA, enhances the arguments and makes them more relatable.
support
The main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, showing a thorough understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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