More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

#people #countries #cars #first #time

In an ever-progressive society , a growing number of individuals in impoverished nations have a propensity to buy vehicles .

This

development may lead to overcontrol

air

pollution

, but it can be tackled by upgrading public

transport

facilities. It is vital to understand that the severe

air

pollution

results from increasing private

transport

appearance. It should be acknowledged that the more vehicles on the road , the more adverse emissions they release.

Consequently

, it is detrimental to residential health because negative releases cause some breathing issues, not least lung cancer. Vietnam

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has a great diversity of private

transport

used for travelling, which is why

this

nation ranked with the most serious

air

pollution

rates all over the world.

Thus

, the negative releases from cars have a bad effect on citizens' health.

However

this

issue can be dealt with by the enhancement of public

transport

services. It must be noted that by improving bus and train facilities, it is possible for dwellers to travel to workplaces or entertainment complexes by public

transport

instead

of private ones.

As a result

, it will cope with a great amount of detrimental gases released into the environment.

This

is true for the USA , which encourages individuals to travel by electric buses and underground trains in order to alleviate bad emissions.

Therefore

air

pollution

may not be deemed a severe environmental problem. In conclusion, the significant increase in vehicles brings about contaminated

air

in the environment .

However

, public

transport

will be the most suitable measure to cope with problems in

this

circumstance

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grammar

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct small grammatical and stylistic errors, such as missing words or misplaced commas. For instance, the phrase 'overcontrol air pollution' needs to be correctly phrased.

conclusion

Ensure that your conclusion brings together all the main points discussed and provides a satisfying closure to your essay. The current conclusion is incomplete and lacks a clear restatement of the thesis.

style

Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and professional. For example, avoid repetition by using synonyms or related terms.

structure

The essay has a clear and logical structure with distinct paragraphs addressing the problems and solutions.

examples

Good use of examples, such as Vietnam and the USA, enhances the arguments and makes them more relatable.

support

The main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, showing a thorough understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

many people think that to become a successful specialist, it is better to choose a career early in life and never change it later. Do you agree or disagree?

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country ? Descuss both view and tell you own idea

Task 2: In many part of the world, people do research on their family history. Some people believe that finding our about previous generations is a usefull thing to do However, others believe that it is better to focus on present and future generation. Discuss both view and give your opinion?