The charts below show changes in the proportion of energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.

#show #changes #proportion #energy #resources #country

The two-pie chart

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

an information

Remove the article

information

a piece of information

show examples

about

Correct article usage

the

show examples

percentage of

energy

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

generated

Add a missing verb

was generated

show examples

from different

sources

in a country

during

Change preposition

between

show examples

1985 and 2003. It is noticeable that oil and gas

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

the most utilized power

sources

over two periods, but the usage of oil dramatically drop in 2003.

Although

being the least

sources

Fix the agreement mistake

source

show examples

both in 1985 and 2003,

energy

from other renewable resources increased after 28 years. Between 1985 and 2003, oil

energy

saw a decreased proportion from about a half proportion to 39% which was still the highest

percentages

Fix the agreement mistake

percentage

show examples

. Move to other unrenewable

energy

, natural gas surprisingly jumped over 10% to 23% in 28 years.

Similarly

, a surge in using coal as a power source occurred

over

Change preposition

from

show examples

1985 to 2003. Regarding non-polluted

energy

sources

, nuclear was the highest among other renewable resources and hydrogen which was 22% in 1985

then

fell

into

Change preposition

show examples

17% in 2003. Meanwhile, hydrogen usage remained stable for two periods at 4%.

Furthermore

, other renewable resources raised

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

popularity from a

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

to 4%.

Submitted by damaspandya on Thu Jul 14 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, sources with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

168 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Nowadays, more and more governments spend money on the arts. A numer of people believe this is wasting money while others believe governments should use money for other important public issues. In my opinion, I partially agree with this point.
5
band
Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.
Some individuals believe that scolars are going to have great advantages by attending private secondary schools, however other people think that private institutions have a negative influence on the young adolescents and society. While some citizens believe that students are going to be benefit by attending a private school, I believe private institutions will have a negative impact on young adults because society does not work with priviliges and students need to learn how to follow instructions to fit well in society.
7
band
The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Several areas of government spending lack sufficient funding. It is widely believed that public facilities and infrastructure should be prioritized over fine arts when allocating government resources. I completely agree with this belief as public services serve a more essential purpose than art.
<4
band
what should we do to protect the environment?What are the solutions for this?
Nowadays people have been damaging the environment a lot.Most of this is from the factory emissions this cause water pollution,air pollution and soil pollution. So the best way to help the environment become better is try to reduce factory emissions before they come out into the environment. Are you less using plastic because these materials take very long time to decomposition in the environment. So i usually uses my own bottle water not normal plassic can, these is just a very small action but it can affect the enviroment a lot. My school also usually celebrates some charity to encourage everyone pick up litter,and recycle it.I always join that charity because I want to help the environment.Finally, do whatever you can if it helps the environment.
5.5
band
The internet has caused many issues. what are some of the problems and what are some solutions?
Technological advances and the often use of the internet, humanity has faced many issues in different aspects such as emotional, economic, and physical. This essay will discuss some internet problems and tackle some possible solutions.

The charts below show changes in the proportion of energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

what should we do to protect the environment?What are the solutions for this?

The internet has caused many issues. what are some of the problems and what are some solutions?