Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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Nowadays,

People

Use synonyms

think

money

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is everything, and

Correct your spelling

they

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the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

can be only happy if they earn or have excessive

money

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

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we will discuss why

this

Linking Words

is the case and how

money

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can make

people

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happy

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

there are other

Change the wording

thinks

show examples

think

Correct your spelling

thing

show examples

in the

world

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that

also

Linking Words

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

happiness to

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

show examples

life.

To begin

Linking Words

with, It is

human

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a human

the human

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tendency that was inherited from our ancienter, when they are living in

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a cave

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cave

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caves

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to store extra

food

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, which can use in

difficult

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a difficult

show examples

time

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times

show examples

to survive. In

Todays

Change to a genitive case

Today's

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era, enough

food

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is available.

However

Linking Words

, it can bye with

money

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, so human's focus was shifted from

food

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money

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, and now

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

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have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

enough

money

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to feed

them self

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themself

themselves

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, so, they are

hunger

Replace the word

hungry

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for facilities and entertainment and spend

money

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

People

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will get respect

also

Linking Words

if they are wealthy.

Although

Linking Words

, we can not deny that, only

money

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can

bye

Correct your spelling

buy

show examples

happiness. There are

lot

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a lot

show examples

of other things in

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world

Add an article

the world

show examples

that make

one

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happy like

spend

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spending

show examples

time with your feverous

people

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

and do

show examples

Wrong verb form

doing

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community

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, parents

are feel

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feel

show examples

happy, when their

offspring’s

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offspring

show examples

give smile and laugh, they forgot everything when

pay

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paying

show examples

with

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

kids.

Also

Linking Words

when they spend

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

with their friends and create happy moments.

This

Linking Words

all thing cannot bye with

money

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. In fact, there are many wealthy

people

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have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

money

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but

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

no friends or kids and feel lonely. To conclude, many

people

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believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that

money

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can buy happiness

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

today's

world

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one

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can buy many things with

money

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food

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, expensive cloth and status in society. But, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

other

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

Use synonyms

world

Add an article

the world

a world

show examples

that can give make you happy when you spend with your

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

one

Use synonyms

Submitted by nic86 on Sat Jul 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to teach school students the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?