Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

Nowadays,

People

think

money

is everything, and

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

can be only happy if they earn or have excessive

money

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

we will discuss why

this

is the case and how

money

can make

people

happy

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

also

there are other

Change the wording

thinks

show examples

think

Correct your spelling

thing

show examples

in the

world

that

also

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

happiness to

individual’s

Correct article usage

an individual’s

show examples

life.

To begin

with, It is

human

Add an article

a human

the human

show examples

tendency that was inherited from our ancienter, when they are living in

Add an article

a cave

show examples

cave

Fix the agreement mistake

caves

show examples

to store extra

food

, which can use in

difficult

Add an article

a difficult

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

to survive. In

Todays

Change to a genitive case

Today's

show examples

era, enough

food

is available.

However

, it can bye with

money

, so human's focus was shifted from

food

money

, and now

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

enough

money

to feed

them self

Correct your spelling

themself

themselves

show examples

, so, they are

hunger

Replace the word

hungry

show examples

for facilities and entertainment and spend

money

Change preposition

apply

show examples

In addition

People

will get respect

also

if they are wealthy.

Although

, we can not deny that, only

money

can

bye

Correct your spelling

buy

show examples

happiness. There are

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of other things in

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

that make

one

happy like

spend

Change the form of the verb

spending

show examples

time with your feverous

people

Correct word choice

and do

show examples

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

community

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

For example

, parents

are feel

Change the verb form

feel

show examples

happy, when their

offspring’s

Change the noun form

offspring

show examples

give smile and laugh, they forgot everything when

pay

Change the verb form

paying

show examples

with

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

kids.

Also

when they spend

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

with their friends and create happy moments.

This

all thing cannot bye with

money

. In fact, there are many wealthy

people

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

money

but

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

no friends or kids and feel lonely. To conclude, many

people

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that

money

can buy happiness

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

today's

world

one

can buy many things with

money

food

, expensive cloth and status in society. But, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

other

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

world

Add an article

the world

a world

show examples

that can give make you happy when you spend with your

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

one

Submitted by nic86 on Sat Jul 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

In many countries , a small number of people earn extremely higher salaries same people believe that this is good for country , but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Writing Task 2: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?