IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matter that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decision #matter
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A number of individuals think that permitting
children
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 to make their own choices on daily basis (
for example
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 food, attire, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of people who only think about their own wishes.
However
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, some have
different
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a different
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opinion
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opinions
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 because it is crucial for
children
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 to make decisions about matters that affect them.
This
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 essay will discuss both
of
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apply
show examples
the contradicting views regarding the freedom of
youngster
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youngsters
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 and how it will boost
them
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their
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in
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apply
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management
skill
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skills
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. It is commonly true that if
parents
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 easily
allowing
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allow
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 youngsters to have
freedom
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the freedom
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 to follow their desire without control and checking can lead them in becoming selfish grownups. They will believe that
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
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they
show examples
 have the authority in every single
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
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 because there
are
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is
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 no
one
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can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
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 stop their wishes.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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spoiled
children
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 will have a tantrum if their friends do not agree with them.
This
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happen
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happens
show examples
 because the
parents
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 always spoil them and
the
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they
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 lack of understanding that the world does not
evolve
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revolve
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 around them only.
On
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In
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 contradict, due to
this
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 style, if the
parents
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 guide them right, the
children
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 will understand that they can
also
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 have
their
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apply
show examples
control over something but it will affect not only
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their self
herself
theirself
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themselves
show examples
 but their
surrounding
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surroundings
show examples
.
This
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 will encourage them in trying to be more responsible
in
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apply
show examples
every single day
,
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apply
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 because the actions taken
from
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apply
show examples
themself will force them to select which
one
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 is the best and which
one
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 is the worst so they know what to choose. It will uplift their critical thinking skills too. In conclusion, allowing your
children
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 to pick what they want to do, what clothes they decide to wear, what food they want to eat, and other decisions
is
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are
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 a great style of teaching.
This
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 will teach them
acout
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about
 every action they choose will have consequences and they are the
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 who
have
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has
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 responsibility
over
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for
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 it
it
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apply
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. Of
course
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,course
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parents
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 should give their guidance
first
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 for them not completely hands-off in giving the freedom
for
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to
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 the youngster.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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