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Band 4.5

In many countries today, major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is this? What measures could be taken to reduce this problem?

#countries #cities #measures
In a lot of Nations nowadays, major
cities
 have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 too big and overcrowded. There are ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons behind it and
also
, plenty of solutions for reducing
this
 problem which will be discussed in
further
 paragraphs. The biggest cause behind it
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
, there are ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
facilities
 available in
cities
. In
this
 day and age, more and more individuals go to major
cities
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
live in rural
areas
 because, in rural
areas
, there are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 better
amenities
 for them.
Then
, they go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 big
cities
 where, they study and
also
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
obtain
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. They earn a lot of
fund
Change to a plural noun
funds
show examples
 because, they prefer to live
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life and
also
, they want to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their fundamental necessities. With
this
,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 has risen in major
cities
.
For instance
, a notable size of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 to Chandigarh which is
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 city because, in
this
 place,
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system is excellent and
also
,
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
more
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
job opportunities which are fruitful for them.
Hence
, big
cities
 become too big and overcrowded. The easiest solution is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 authorities should provide
amenities
 in rural
areas
. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 forementioned
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
masses go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 big
cities
 because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 rural
areas
, there are no outstanding
facilities
. If
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will provide
amenities
 for groups of
population
 in these
areas
.
Then
, they have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 education and
then
, they will obtain
Add an article
a well
the well
show examples
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Then
, they can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their basic necessities. With
this
, they will not go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 big
cities
.
For example
, in Punjab, more and more individuals prefer to live in their villages because,
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 better
facilities
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 education system,
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
 jobs and other
amenities
 which are useful for
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
.
Therefore
,
regime
Add an article
the regime
show examples
 should provide
amenities
 for groups of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in rural
areas
. To recapitulate,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 present time,
cities
 become too big and overcrowded because, there are ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
facilities
 available in
cities
.
however
, the panaceas is that,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide
facilities
 for individuals in rural
areas
.
Submitted by kheparsahil22 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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