Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #talk #school #students #dangers #crime

Teaching student about the danger of criminal

things

by creating a conversation with offenders is one of the major topics in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society. While there are a few reasons why

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

crime

education by ex-criminals is true, there are more reasonable grounds that

crime

can be taught in alternative ways. There are might be

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certain reasons that

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

can communicate and learn about the risk

Change preposition

show examples

illegal

things

from

guilty

Add an article

a guilty

show examples

person.

This

firstly

Replace the adverb

first

show examples

because taking a conversation with a wrongdoer may gain awareness about the

crime

As a result

, children have a chance to avoid devil

things

around their life. If

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

know

Change the verb form

knows

show examples

well about

criminal

Add an article

a criminal

the criminal

show examples

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

, they will not

committing

Change the verb form

commit

be committing

show examples

a serious

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

. Another reason is that if they are communicating with ex-criminals, they will know exactly what price

did

Unnecessary verb

apply

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offenders pay for doing bad

things

This

is how prisoners have fallen into a dilemma.

However

, there is stronger evidence that a combination of different education will create an advantageous result compared to a former prisoner. One reason is that parents should raise their children’s awareness when they were at an early age by

teach

Change the verb form

teaching

show examples

them how to avoid

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

toxic social network and evil

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

For instance

, they should let these

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

watch national news which is on television.

Thus

, students will boost their knowledge

with

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show examples

a staggering rate.

In addition

this

, teachers should add more courses to students about how to take care of themselves from devil

things

Therefore

, these children will always keep a lucid mind which is made their life become successful and

purity

Replace the word

pure

show examples

. Taking everything into account, having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communicate

Replace the word

communication

show examples

with offenders about

risk

Add an article

the risk

show examples

of committing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

illegality is true in a few aspects, there are more compelling reasons that taking

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

alternative

ways

Fix the agreement mistake

way

show examples

to teach students about the danger of

engage

Change the verb form

engaging

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

devil

things

is better than talking with a former prisoner. It is recommended that we should make a better education method

instead

of having a conversation with a wrongdoer.

Submitted by tupham on Sun Jul 17 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Detailed describtion of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be banned in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community?

The government should lower the budget on art in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?