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Band 4.5

The role of prisons should be to punish criminals who have committed serious crimes. Training courses and education offered to prisoners are a waste of taxpayers' money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#role #prisons #criminals #crimes #courses #education #prisoners #waste #taxpayers #money
Across the world,
people
 who commit criminal activities were kept in jails to prevent them from committing another mistake and at the same time to change their behaviour by providing education or by training them for self-earning when they came out of prison. Few
people
 may think it is wasting of
taxpayers
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taxpayers'
taxpayer's
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 money but I will disagree
their
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with their
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 opinion and will explain my views in the following paragraphs.
First
 of all,
people
 will not commit any criminal activities if they have sufficient lively hood income and enough food for their family, but in some cases due to their family history or due to frustration
people
 used to commit
this
 kind of criminal activities. There may many reasons for their frustrations, they didn't get a proper job for their education even though they work hard or few
people
 may not able to study to acquire good jobs like others. Due to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 psychological
fallings
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falling
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people
 may fall into wrong hands and tend to do
this
 kind of activity and that leads them to jail.
Second
 of all, By birth all humans are having the same kind of mental behaviours, it is the situation that changes their attitude. When the court gave punishment to any prisoner, the motive behind any punishment is to change them and kept in the right path so that they can mingle in
Add an article
a
the
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society like others. To make
this
 happen, govt
needs
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need
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 to spend some amount on them to re-skill or to educate them. Once they succeed and are released from prison they will those skills to start a business or get new jobs that will give money, in that way they
also
 become taxpayers like others. To conclude
this
, I would say few
people
 commit mistakes to
Correct your spelling
safeguard
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safe guard
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safeguard
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 their lives and few
folk
Change to a plural noun
folks
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 may do mistakes due to their psychological
mind
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minds
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. I totally agree with the statement by upskilling these
people
 with gove money we can put them on the right path and we can make them taxable payers once they release from jail.
Submitted by sekhar.kandi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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